GoVisits Web Directory » News Articles » Relationship Information » How a Written Agreement Can Enhance Your Relationship
 

How a Written Agreement Can Enhance Your Relationship

Marital contracts have an honorable history going back thousands of years, but they have not been put to good use for modern couples. Instead they have developed a bad reputation for being legalistic, money-grubbing things, negatively preoccupied with all that might go wrong in the future, and too often used to strip a woman marrying a wealthy man of her rights to property, support, and inheritance. But it doesn't have to be that way.

A new kind of relationship agreement, the Couples Contract is a different animal entirely--affirming and forward-looking--which can do constructive things for loving couples and add features to their relationship that can only help.

Positive, clear language. Unlike the traditional prenup with its terrible legalistic, sphincter-tightening language that lawyers tend to use, often as an awkward substitute for clear thinking and competent writing, the Couples Contract is written in loving and affirming language in simple terms everyone can understand.

Commitment. The Couples Contract affirms your intention to enter into a lasting relationship based upon mutual affection, respect and friendship. You can also commit to a high degree of openness, honesty and good faith in all dealings with one another.

The advantages of a Couples Contract can be had by any couple at any time. It doesn't matter if you are married, soon-to-be-married, or simply living together. If you are a committed couple, you can't afford to be without at least a basic Couples Contract. Here are some essential benefits:

  • Make a loving commitment to a lasting relationship
  • Introduce concepts that can help solve relationship problems if any arise
  • Make sure your relationship never ends up in court
  • Keep the terms of your relationship stable, no matter where you move

You don't have to, but if you want, you can add some optional clauses to your basic agreement that will take some thought and discussion, such as:

  • Tailor your financial relationships to make them more suitable to your family's needs, which for some couples will be a must.
  • Introduce faith-related principles into your family life.
You can start with a simpler basic agreement first, then tailor it later or never, or you can tailor your agreement at the outset. In either case, your agreement can be modified at any time.

Introduce constructive principles into your relationship

One of the most important features you can add to any relationship--a gift that you can give yourselves--is planning in advance, while everything is smooth and lovely, to deal with issues that might threaten your relationship in the future. If you want a lasting relationship, there are specific things you can do to increase your chances.

The Couples Contract can plant some seeds that will help you unravel predicaments that come up for most couples sooner or later. Most couples have no plan or idea for how to deal with such situations if they ever do occur, but you can create a Couples Contract that is there to remind you that there are things you can do and resources you can turn to if needed. Even though things may be wonderful and romantic now, just having these seeds in the back of your mind will help you in the future to recognize signs that your relationship needs some attention, and you'll have some ideas for how to respond if that happens. Look at this as a form of free health insurance.

I expand on these concepts in detail, show you how to create your own Couples Contract, and even provide a template and optional clauses, in my latest book, Legal Essentials for California Couples at www.nolocouples.com. You can use the Couples Contract template even if you don't live in California by making some minor changes.

Copyright 2005 Ed Sherman

 

Relationship articles

  1. Soul Mates - Do They Really Exist?

    Throughout centuries, story tellers, and people from different background and cultures always refer to their fascination in meeting one day their soul mates. Is Soul Mate a myth? Do they really exist? Or is Soul Mate a figment of our own imagination ... more to this article

    Article category: Relationship Information

  2. Am I Doing the Right Thing?

    Dear Candace,My fiancé and I just broke up, and I need to know if this was the right thing to do or not. I love him more than anything else in the whole world. We were planning on being married in April. I just felt like he put himself above ... more to this article

    Article category: Relationship Information

  3. E-Love at Easter - Part Two

    The next week was a whirl. The first quarter of the year was ending. The girls worked hard to stay on top of their businesses.Just for the fun of it, Kiki now chatted regularly online with Dotun, her new e-friend. To his credit, he was actuall... more to this article

    Article category: Relationship Information

  4. Great Relationships: 7 Secrets You Must Know to Make It

    1. CommitmentTrue commitment means much more than simply committing to staying married. Here's one of my favorite quotes about marriage:"When you marry, you don't marry one person, you marry three:The person you think he is;... more to this article

    Article category: Relationship Information

  5. Learning to Trust Again

    Eleven o'clock on a weeknight I found myself phoning a man whom I'd recently met. We had been talking regularly and I just wanted to hear the sound of his voice.No answer. After four rings his answering machine kicked in and I hung up. How str... more to this article

    Article category: Relationship Information

How a Written Agreement Can Enhance Your Relationship information

Article categories

Picking Up The Pieces

"My feelings have changed," my boyfriend of five years told ...

Relationship Information

How Much Time Do You Invest in Relationship Maintenance?

When starting a new relationship, we usually adopt a subcons...

Relationship Information

I Want to Love Him... But Hes So Far Away

Okay, who are we kidding. Long-distance relationships are no...

Relationship Information

Discerning The Loving Heart

How often have you had the experience of connecting with som...

Relationship Information

Ridding Yourself Of Being A Manipulator To Better Your Relationships

One of the oldest character flaws in humans is their ability...

Relationship Information

My Broken Heart

I guess my soulmate wasn't all he was cracked up to be. You ...

Relationship Information

Infidelity: Spying is NOT Revenge

Do not use what you find on your cheating spouse as ammuniti...

Relationship Information

I Have A Secret to Share

Dear Candace,I have been through a lot over the last ...

Relationship Information

He?s So Loving (But He Has These Black Moods)

It's strange how often abused women tell you how loving thei...

Relationship Information

Friendship - A Relation of Choice!

IntroductionHave you ever heard or have you ever seen...

Relationship Information

Love Relationships: Focusing on What went Right

What's all the Hype about Love Relationships, Anyway?...

Relationship Information

Adultery as Sexual Addiction: Should You Stay Married?

I outline 7 kinds of affairs in my E-book, "Break Free From ...

Relationship Information

Long Distance Relationships ? Not Always a Bad Thing

You hate it, but it's happened ? the love of your life has t...

Relationship Information

Great Relationship Advice: The Ability to Communicate

In my workshops with couples, I start with this question:...

Relationship Information